A Kikamba saying which means: A good house is made by a wife.
We have already mentioned it shortly, but on Wednesday we went to Katulani Secondary School to have a talk with the girls to get an insight in their daily life. It was very eye opening. It’s written in the Kenyan constitution that every child has the right to go to primary school. If you as a parent don’t pay the school fee, you can actually go to prison. Therefore, most boys and girls get 8 years of education.
When it’s time for secondary school, it is different. It’s not a written right anymore, and especially not if you’re a girl with a lot of brothers. Unfortunately, Kenyan women still experience a lot of discrimination – a boy is considered to have more potential than girls. It seems like the Kenyan society – at least on the countryside, is still stuck with old perceptions about the two genders roles. Because of poverty some families have to prioritize which of their children that will be given education, and due to their old way of thinking, this opportunity is often given to the boys. Therefore the girl often is bound to work at home, and rush into marriage as she’s in need of funding. As you can imagine – getting married and pregnant at a young age, with no proper job or education only continue the bad loop of poverty.
The girls that get into secondary school often excel in certain subjects like language and social science. But, as in Norway, in the field of science they often shy away. Because the traditional culture is incorporated in the kids, boys feel that they are superior and that they should do all the practical work e.g. in the chemistry lab. Even though they are told to collaborate, the girls often end up writing the notes and miss the important knowledge obtained through practice. As Norwegian girls, if we were put in that position – we would tell the boys that we too would like to do the lab work. But Kenyan girls are very shy when it comes to boys, and don’t dare to speak against them.
Other problems also occur. It is very easy for boys to bully girls when they don’t fight back. In addition, they are in that special age when they are curious about each other. For us it was very surprising the numbers of questions they had regarding this subject: How do you say no to a boy? How do you get pregnant? Which challenges do you face in Norway when it comes to boys? Should you have a boyfriend in university?
Some of these questions were a bit difficult to answer. The one concerning pregnancy was perhaps the worst. But still – although we were aware there were a lot of the girls that knew the answer, we explained the whole process quite thoroughly… For us it was important to show that we did not think this was something embarrassing to talk about, and it is also very important to imprint to the girls the consequences of having unprotected sex. Not only do you risk having a child, but you can also get diseases like HIV – about six percent of the Kenyan population is infected with this deadly virus, most concentrated in rural areas. Even though they giggled a lot, we hope they understood the importance of our message.
The easiest one to answer was the first one – how do you say no. For us it is really simple and only requires to letters: N and O! But as we explained previously – the girls don’t have the courage to go against the wishes of the boys. Instead, they dodge away and maybe say wait instead. But then the boys don’t understand they’re being turned down, and continue to ask till they get what they want.
There are many stories of boys from wealthy families, asking girls to do them “favors” in exchange for some money. Since some girls never even have touched a 500 K.Sh note (i.e. equal to 30 Norwegian kroner), these offers are difficult to turn down. Life on the countryside is quite basic with bare necessities to get by, and many girls dream of a better life. Some also believe giving the guys what they want, eventually may result in marriage and wealth. Sometimes the girls get their fairytale ending, but more often – it results in pregnancy, HIV and children growing up without a father.
Due to poverty these girls face challenges that we’ve never even considered, and it was somewhat difficult to relate and understand their problems. When the teacher asked us to give advice on how the girls can manage during their period if they don’t have sufficient money to buy pads, we didn’t have an answer. To us, the question itself was shocking, and the teacher had to repeat her question several times before Ingrid manage to produce an answer: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have that problem in Norway”. Can you imagine not having the money to pay for pads or tampons?
Knowledge may help reducing poverty. Unfortunately this knowledge is seldom passed on to the girls before it’s too late. In Norway we have a saying: “Behind every great man there’s a great woman”. Now, it’s high time for the Kenyan girls and women to step out of the shade and in to the light – to show themselves as the strong, intelligent and independent women they are.
